My Last Words Essay

I suffer non but my word and my able body. I am not a saint and sure as hell I progress to sinned, but I try to live rightful(a) and within my means. Someone once told me that thoughts and feelings should be recorded by federal agency of venting out my demons and exorcising my troubles away, not sure I fully insure how this movements, but well I have some exorcising to do so here goes.Living with guilt is a terrible thing for whatever man. But when that guilt gets you all fired up inside and makes the nights restless, quiescence lasts only an hour or two and that image of what you have do wrong is burning right behind the eyes, lets just say id construction to god if I only believed he would listen. You see I killed a man not through choice, if truth be told through pretermit of any other way I could see before me. I curse the day his Aunt Clara asked me to see him through. Lenny small, biggest damn guy I ever seen, Strongest too, but god played an awful trick and do h im as dumb as hell, had the mind of an infant before the nestling learns what is right and what is wrong. A man resembling that is innocent of any offence he may commit due simply to the frailty of his mind.Those guys would have strung him up and tortured him. Lenny did not deserve to see it coming. Lenny stony-broke the neck of the bosses daughter in law, least she would have been if she would of lived that long. She had no business organization being in that stable. As for Lenny the dumb bastard, just got to touch anything he finds pretty. It is my guess he was handling her too hard, scared her and to stop her from screech out would of put his hand over her head and boom, shes dead. His intentions were not evil but his act was.I prayed he would remember to support me in the brush, my guilt for killing him is nothing compared to the guilt I would have had to endure watching him suffer at another mans hand. Just like old Candy and his dog, it was my job to put him down. Not t hat it makes it any the easier to live with I think this is the most I have been able to support in the month since it happened. Cant eat, cant sleep, I just see his sorry ass lying on the flooring dreaming of our very own plot of land. Truth is without Lenny I am nothing I have nothing, he was my friend and I killed him, doesnt seem right I can draw my next breath. honcho damn near threw me off the ranch himself that day and swore id never work a ranch in this country again.To be sound life just isnt the same without Lenny beside me.I think its beat to meet my maker.Draw your own conclusions and treat this as you will.Beside this note is l bucks for my headstone, which I would like to read here lies George Milton Who Loved His Friend I apologise to whom ever finds my body, but know I can not take his torment and pain or this heinous world anymore. I only hope purgatory will eventually allow me peace.